The Planet got good and sick of trying to find a replacement for Madame I. Liner. You gits what you pays fer, the saying goes, and if Madame I is not the best prognosticator money can buy, she's the best The Planet could git with The Planet's budget.

So here the overpainted old sybil is, back again with a fresh load of astrological advice to spread on the garden of your life. Take it with a grain, box, or Great Lake of sa...

The Dade Planet apologizes for the wild excesses of its former Czodiac Czar, Madame I. Liner (right). The bossiness, the specificity, the sheer, unmitigated gall of Madame I’s prognostications offended no reader more profoundly than it did The Planet. Readers, may we consider Madame I. a troubled era in the history of this newspaper, and turn the metaphorical ​​page to a fresh new chapter?

The Planet also apologizes for its slo...

Madam I.  Liner, a professional prognosticator whose big earrings and black eyeliner qualify her to predict your future, returns to guide you through life, love and investment opportunities this October! If you have questions for Madam I. Liner, email them to news@dadeplanet.com!

It’s time to get down to business, Libra! You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs! (Unless you use that zero-cholesterol egg replacem...

Editor's Note: In this useful new feature from The Dade Planet, professional prognosticator Madame I. Liner looks into the stars for helpful hints to guide you through the perils and pleasures of your destiny. Madam I's qualifications are top-of-the-(eye)line--her earrings are the biggest, her eye makeup is the blackest, and her turban is the starriest. If you have questions for Madam I. Liner, send them to news@dadeplanet.com...